A blog by The Independent Single Mum
There’s a funny thing about change- the conversation out there in the world would have you think it’s impossible. A leopard, as they say, can’t change it’s spots. That may be true of leopards, but it isn’t true of humans. How do I know? Because I’ve changed my spots, and I’ve seen a lot of other people change theirs.
Further to the conversation, there are also the attempts we’ve made to change that can keep us thinking it’s REALLY HARD. Yo-yo dieting, trying to stop smoking, trying to stop yelling at your kids. There are many things we do as humans that we don’t want to be doing, that we’d rather not do. If we had a choice, it seems, we’d choose not to. Yet, technically, we do have a choice… and yet changes don’t happen… and there’s a very good reason why. Because only about 5 % of what we do as humans is controlled by our conscious mind.
If we kept everything within conscious control, life would be overwhelming. Imagine having to think about every breath, every heartbeat, every individual eye movement. You’d never get anything else done. But along with the physical elements of daily life, more complex reactions, behaviours and even thought patterns become habitual. Making a ‘concious effort’ to change won’t impact these- they became unconscious so you can get on with being you- no matter how much you might dislike how being you is working out right now.
Meanwhile, know that what I’m saying here is that we have huge capacity to change, that it can really be very easy to do so, but that you also need to work on the kind of self-awareness that allows you to see the things that are turning up as ‘problems’ and courageous enough to ‘be with’ them long enough to allow them to transform. I’ve heard people say they really don’t want to ‘go there’ with their stuff, because they’re afraid what they’ll bring up. Which I find sad, because a concerted effort to work on yourself leads to a life of freedom to be who you want to be. And if that sounds good, perhaps you’d like to work with me! I’m a coach because I believe in coaching. I believe in coaching because I’ve been coached- and will continue to seek coaches whose way of being, or ideas, or skills, resonate with me.
True story, I once signed up to work with a coach because whereas everyone else sat on chairs on the stage, she sat cross-legged in front of hers. So maybe you sign up to work with me because I’ve got blue hair… Maybe something I said on one of my Live videos was interesting to you. Maybe you just want to expand your horizons… Or maybe you’ve got some trauma in the background that you’re ready to be free of. Whatever it is, trust your intuition, and keep believing that change is possible. I do!